


What Were We To Each Other?

by AbschaumNo1



Series: Hope for Recovery [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, because i need hugs and fluff with them in my life, hugs and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 18:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1559795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbschaumNo1/pseuds/AbschaumNo1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he stands in front of the door he has one last moment of hesitation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Were We To Each Other?

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long time.. but I finally managed to write something again so yay (even if it is not the long promised update for 'You can't spell Ravenclaw', that's still unfinished and possibly far away...I'm trying my best).  
> Thanks to Sylvie for the beta <3

When he stands in front of the door he has one last moment of hesitation. One last doubt, one last thought of “Is this really the right thing to do?” He quenches it before he can think any more about it. Whether it is right or wrong doesn't matter. It is the only thing to do. He takes a deep breath and finally knocks.

It takes the other a moment to open the door, but finally he is there, standing in the door frame, staring at him in surprise.

“It's – it's you,” the other says, one hand reaching out but stopping just short of touching him. They share a moment of silence before the other says, “Is it – can I...?” and he only nods. The arm finishes its movement and he finds himself pulled into a hug. He's rigid at first, he cannot remember anyone ever embracing him like this, it's an unfamiliar feeling. But at the same time he can't help but feel that this is right. The other is about to move away when he can't help himself anymore and just collapses into the hug. His head comes to rest against the other's shoulder and his arms wrap around him. It's still unfamiliar territory but he feels like he could get used to it. He feels like he could melt into it, get even closer than he already is. Maybe it's a weird thing to say, but for the first time since he has left him behind by that river he feels safe. He takes a deep breath, sucking in the scent of the other that is at once strange and distinctly familiar, and they finally step away from each other.

“You should probably come in,” the other says as he takes a step back to let him enter, just to lead the way into the kitchen. He's motioned to sit down while the other makes coffee and he uses the time to look around and study his surroundings. The kitchen is nothing too fancy he supposes. It's not like he has much experience with what kitchens look like these days; he doesn't even remember what his own kitchen looked like, or if he even had one. But he doesn't dwell on that. Thinking about what he remembers and what he doesn't remember has lead nowhere so far, it only makes the number of questions grow.

The other places a mug of coffee in front of him and sits down. The silence between them is different this time. He cannot describe the feeling, it is still unfamiliar to him. It has been too long since he was allowed to feel, since he allowed himself to feel. All that he knows is that this is considerably less comfortable than before. The other man studies him, and he thinks he can remember that expression. It's as if the other searches for something, and when the other speaks he doesn't know if he found it.

“So...do you remember anything?”

He considers the question for a moment, he has thought about this before, and he still isn't sure if he does remember at all. “Bits and pieces,” he says finally, because that's the least he can tell him. “Mostly from missions, but there are other bits...falling, pain, the cold. It's hazy.”

“Can you remember who you are?”

And that's the million dollar question, isn't it? Does he remember who he is? Or was, whichever fits his case; he's not going to argue about semantics. “I don't know. You say my name was Bucky, and that we were friends, and it feels....right I guess...familiar at least. Like it might be true. I feel like I know you...” He trails off, waits for the other to react, helpless; he's not used to feeling helpless. It should make him more uncomfortable than it does.

“That's something, isn't it?” The other smiles and reaches over the table to grasp his hand. “We'll get you the rest back as well.”

He stares down at their hands for a moment, unsure what to make of it. Finally he looks up at him again. “The last time we saw each other you said...you said I was your friend. And I know that I know you, but...” He considers his next question for a moment. “What were we to each other, Steve?”

Steve smiles, but there is a tinge of sadness to it. “Calling us friends is not entirely right, I guess. We grew up together, we were close, you always had my back, and...somewhere along the line we...fell in love.”

He looks at Steve, tries to process what he just heard, to make it fit in with the little he knows. He knows they were close; he is surer of that than he is of his own identity. For some reason Steve is so ingrained in his whole existence that he cannot deny their closeness. But he can't remember much past that. He knows being close to him seems familiar and right, almost like he belongs. But he doesn't know if he can go back to that, not as long as he is the empty shell that he is now. He looks at Steve and the other seems to understand.

“Look, it's OK. We don't have to go back. Just...stay with me and we'll figure this out. Maybe more memories will come back, maybe they won't. Until we find out you can live with me.”

It doesn't take him long to think about the offer. After all, it's better than living on the streets as he has done for the last few weeks. And who knows, maybe staying with Steve will help. He nods, and Steve smiles at him, without a trace of sadness this time. This time there's just hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Say "hi" on [tumblr](http://abschaumno1.tumblr.com).


End file.
